My friend Robin lives in the California desert and moans constantly that it never rains. Across the world, I live in the rainforest near Byron Bay, Australia and bitch endlessly that it never stops.  It rains so much here that mushrooms grow in your closet and very large spiders come inside to stay dry. You can be standing in the brightest sunshine with a double rainbow ending at your gumboots and it will be raining.

The forecast can promise ‘mostly fine with a chance of a shower’ and it will be bashing against the tin roof of the house so ferociously you feel you are in being attacked by Hitler. Add the deafening croaking of the surrounding frog ARMY (that’s actually the proper name) and conversation is totally impossible.

You are reduced to sign language or passing notes back and forth. Forget television and the radio. Phone calls are worse…